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scenes from a parenthood
Overheard around town:
"Can I have another donut?"
"No, Morgan, you had two whole donuts already."
"Please, just one more?"
"Morgan, no! You've had enough donuts and we want you to have room for dinner!"
"Please?"
"No, but you can have some fruit when we get home?"
"So can I have another donut later?"
"Yes, you can."
"Promise?"
"I promise you can have another donut later."
...
"Can I have another donut now?"
"No, we told you, you had two donuts already."
"But you promised I could have another donut later!"
"Morgan, we meant you could have another donut much later."
"I promise you can have another donut someday later in your life."
"When?"
"After dinner."
"I was thinking more like when you're fifteen."
...
"Can I have another donut now?"
"No! Morgan! Are you actually listening to us? Or are the words just, like, passing through your hair and out the back of the car?"
"No, but my mind is just losing them."
"Fair enough."
...
There are days when I actually pine for having the difficult conversations with my kids.
"Can I have another donut?"
"No, Morgan, you had two whole donuts already."
"Please, just one more?"
"Morgan, no! You've had enough donuts and we want you to have room for dinner!"
"Please?"
"No, but you can have some fruit when we get home?"
"So can I have another donut later?"
"Yes, you can."
"Promise?"
"I promise you can have another donut later."
...
"Can I have another donut now?"
"No, we told you, you had two donuts already."
"But you promised I could have another donut later!"
"Morgan, we meant you could have another donut much later."
"I promise you can have another donut someday later in your life."
"When?"
"After dinner."
"I was thinking more like when you're fifteen."
...
"Can I have another donut now?"
"No! Morgan! Are you actually listening to us? Or are the words just, like, passing through your hair and out the back of the car?"
"No, but my mind is just losing them."
"Fair enough."
...
There are days when I actually pine for having the difficult conversations with my kids.
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There are days when I actually pine for having the difficult conversations with my kids.
Dear Ghod, yes! Just a week or two ago Edward got into big trouble for lying, calculatedly and intentionally, about something that was so collossally stupid and unworthy of lying about and such a minor deal that I now can't recall what the heck it even was.
I have tried, futilely perhaps, to checkpoint whether or not he's actually listening with that tired old "Okay then, what did I just say?" tactic -- with the net result being, his traditional American maleness is confirmed: he can parrot it back without having paid attention at all. Argh! I thwarted myself! Now I've only taught him a skill that will stand him in good stead, and piss me off, for the rest of his life!
Also, it's always nice to know we're not the only parents who sometimes can't pass up the perfect smartass retort. Like when Edward, who has been having a bedwetting issue, asked for water after bedtime on the grounds that he was DYING OF THIRST. After much debate and consideration and him reiterating the DYING OF THIRST assertion repeatedly, I put approximately a tablespoon of water in a cup and took it to him. "Here," I said, "This is enough water to make sure you don't DIE OF THIRST."
Anyway, thanks, I laughed out loud, I really did.
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"No, but my mind is just losing them."(end quote)
This, my friends, is why I hesitate about having children--it is at that point that I would have lost any chance of suitably chastising my child/resisting their demands by bursting out into helpless laughter.
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