turn around, bright eyes

I didn't remember until just a little after nine o'clock.  "Hey, guys!" I told the kids.  "Wanna go see a lunar eclipse?"

We ran outside and looked up at the sky.  We got so lucky.  The sky over eastern Massachusetts was completely clear, and at that hour the moon is directly over the clear space above our driveway.  The eclipse had taken a big bite out of the moon already.  "WOW!" Morgan said, gaping.

I ran back inside for my camera, tripod and telephoto lens.  While I set them up, Morgan asked me to remind him how the eclipse worked, and I tried in my fumbly way to explain it to him and Quinn. ("So, see, imagine this rock here is the Earth, and--- no, maybe this chunk of ice is the Earth, and my fist is the Sun, and--- no, see, the earth comes around like this, and....")

The boys went back inside to collect their toy telescopes and binoculars and things.  Then I remembered.

Several years ago, over dinner, beowabbit mentioned to us that he had a telescope, a nice Meade telescope with an automatic directional tracking system, which he was no longer using much (partly because the computerized tracking no longer worked), and it was just taking up space in his house, and did he think our kids would like it?  We jumped at the opportunity, of course, and shortly found ourselves in possession of a very decent amateur telescope.  Of course, we too did not often get around to taking the telescope out, and so it soon fell into disuse in our house too.

Obviously I couldn't pass it up.  I ran inside, brought the telescope down from the library shelf we kept it on, wiped off the dust, very carefully screwed in the eyepiece and took it outside.  Lacking a proper tripod for the telescope, I had to set it on the ground, and we practically had to lie down in order to get a decent view through the eyepiece.

But it was worth it.  It was so worth it.  Through the telescope the moon was about the size of an apple and crystal sharp.  The red umbral edge of the eclipse cut it neatly in half.  I called Morgan back outside.  "You've got to see this," I promised him.  He put his jacket and hat and gloves back on dubiously and followed me outside.  When he knelt at the telescope he nearly shrieked.  "That is so awesome!"

For the next hour we went in and out of the house, checking on the moon, fiddling with the camera and the telescope.  Both boys took several turns looking through the telescope and through the binoculars.

Thanks, beowabbit -- we finally put it to good use.  And it could hardly have been more fantastic. :-)

The O'Reilly Refractor

Dear Mr. O'Reilly:

Having heard so much about your recent comments about Michelle Obama, I was very grateful to learn I was misinformed.  Knowing that you do not yet want to go on a lynching party against her is a deep relief to me and, I am sure, many if not most other white Americans.  It is pleasing and humbling to know that in this day and age, lynching is no longer the immediate response to Negro recalcitrance, but has become a last resort, to be employed only when all other options have failed!

Truly, it is a proud day for America!  No reasonable person could possibly disagree, and it is astonishing indeed that Michelle Obama does not share your pride at the diminished popularity of lynching.

Now that you have made yourself clear on this subject, I am hoping that you can also clarify some additional matters:

• In your opinion, does the yellow peril still warrant the issuance of Jap hunting licenses?
• Does it make sense at this time to stock up on crosses and gasoline, or should we wait until we are 100% sure that they are warranted?
• Would you support the construction of concentration camps for Jews who do not admit to being wholly proud of their country?  Failing that, how about at least some yellow stars?

I am sure that you have received some negative feedback from so-called liberal agitators.  Please do not be alarmed; I understand that no one plans to act in retaliation unless they have complete and total proof that you are as much of a dingbat bastard as you sound.

Yours in solidarity,
qwrrty