[ picked up from keyne who got it from coraline ]

If I were a month, I'd be last month.
If I were a day of the week, I'd be Humpday.
If I were a time of day, I'd be the time of day somebody wouldn't give you.
If I were a planet, I'd be Pizza Planet.
If I were a sea animal, I'd be Jörmungandr.

If I were a direction, I'd be "Action!"
If I were a piece of furniture, I'd be that thing your aunt gave you which you don't know what it is.
If I were a liquid, I'd be -- well, um, *cough*
If I were a gemstone, I'd be GemStone.
If I were a tree, I'd be a B-tree.

If I were a tool, I'd be --- oh, who am I fooling?  I am a tool.
If I were a flower, I'd be cauliflower.
If I were a kind of weather, I'd be Stormy Weather.
If I were a musical instrument, I'd be a theremin.
If I were a color, I'd be the color of money.

If I were an emotion, I'd be weltschmerz.
If I were a fruit, I'd be the seeds of our discontent.
If I were a sound, I'd be "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT RACKET?"
If I were an element, I'd be a Honda Element.
If I were a car, I'd be a Honda Element. (Are you even paying attention?)

If I were a food, I'd be one of those cupcakes that you just know you shouldn't eat, you'll feel so terrible later, but it's just so tempting and you've had an awful day anyway and maybe it would be okay to have just one but you really shouldn't, you're just going to feel so bloated and cranky in an hour, but but oh god OM NOM NOM NOM
If I were a place, I'd be third place.
If I were a material, I'd be a material witness.
If I were a taste, I'd be the first taste, the one that's free.
If I were a scent, I'd be the scent of the escaped prisoner.

Meme from many people.  Cute!

1. They are watching TV. What are they watching?

These days?  Either the Olympics, election-night news coverage, or there's been a natural disaster somewhere in the world.

2. You're out to eat. What kind of dressing do they get on their salad?

Poppy seed vinaigrette!

3. What's one food this person doesn't like? What's one food this person could not live without?

She will not abide by fennel (among other things) but cannot live without chile peppers.

4. You go out to the bar. He/she orders...

A caipirinha.

5. What size shoe do they wear?

Oh god, I don't think I even know what size women's shoes come in.  A women's ten?

6. If this person were to collect anything, it would be...

I bet it would be Celtic crosses.

7. What is their favorite type of sandwich?

This person is not especially fond of the "sandwich" food group.  I think the closest thing to a favorite sandwich is a gyro.  Does that count?

8. This person could eat ______ every day.

Thai chicken basil.  No doubt about that one.

9. Favorite cereal?

I'm going to guess frosted shredded wheat?  See "sandwich" above.

10. This person wouldn't be caught dead wearing?

Stripes with plaids.

11. Favorite sports team?

The Red Sox, but only barely. :-)

12. Who will he/she vote for?

Obama.  She only voted for McCain once before, and that was in a bid to keep W from getting the Republican nomination in 2000. :-)

13. What is their sign?

Uh-oh.  Taurus?

16. How many states has this person lived in?

More than I can count.  She was a military brat.

17. What is his/her heritage?

Mostly German peasantry.

18. You bake them a cake for their birthday. What kind do you bake?

I do not bake them a cake.  I learned that lesson. :-)

19. The CD I would probably find in their vehicle is...

Well, technically none, since none of our vehicles has a working CD player at this point.  But when we last did, some of the standards included the Dixie Chicks, the Indigo Girls, and Garth Brooks.

20. What can you do that will guarantee a laugh from him/her?

That's hard to define.  I often seem to be able to find the punchline that sets her off laughing, but don't really know how I get there.

21. Does he/she get along well with their family?

Fairly well with her father and her father's relatives.  Not at all with her mother (but still has some strong ties to her mother's cousins).  Lots of minefields there.

22. If money wasn't an option, I would buy him/her...

A pied à terre!

This is the LJ Interests Meme. The results were a lot more unusual and intriguing than I expected:

1. steven brust score: 6
2. boiled in lead score: 4
3. wilkie collins score: 4
4. steeleye span score: 3
5. october project score: 3
6. buckaroo banzai score: 3
7. mercy score: 3
8. first amendment score: 3
9. peter s. beagle score: 3
10. vernor vinge score: 3
11. impeach bush score: 3
12. sacred harp score: 3
13. doonesbury score: 3
14. ethnomusicology score: 3
15. china mieville score: 3
16. will eisner score: 3
17. cool hair things score: 2
18. talk.bizarre score: 2
19. mun score: 2
20. c.j. cherryh score: 2

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I found it interesting because:

It's accurate in ways I didn't expect.  I do like Boiled in Lead but only learned recently that I do.  I am not precisely a fan of Sacred Harp singing (beyond being generally interested in American musical traditions), but that's a pretty offbeat interest that's shared by several people on my friends list, so it makes some sense that it would pop up.  I never would have thought to put "cool hair things" on my interests list, but now that it has appeared I can't imagine why it escaped my notice in the first place.

I don't even recognize some of the people it lists.  Steven Brust?  China Mieville?  Mun?  Wilkie Collins?  I am sure that I had never heard of these things before seeing them on this list.  Even now I am not sure what "mun" is supposed to be.  Perhaps I am interested in it, but I suspect that I may never know for sure.

This is the "unread books" meme that's been going around. The list is the 106 books most often listed as "unread" by LibraryThing users.

Titles in bold: I've read.
Titles in italics: I started but never finished.
Titles underlined: School assignments.

Following moominmolly's lead, the ones that I couldn't put down, did not want to be over, or otherwise filled me with unspeakable glory are in purple.  Some comments about selected books at the end.

( books! )

Commentary:

( Read more... )

Hard for me to resist a movie meme. This one:

Pick 10 of your favorite movies.
Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.
Post them here for everyone to guess.
Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.

And, obviously, no fair looking them up and then guessing. :-)

These quotes come just about verbatim from IMDb. I've changed them only to remove key characters' names. Ordered alphabetically by quote, and I've mostly avoided movies I've seen on other people's lists:

1. Afraid this tea's pathetic. Must have used these wretched leaves about twenty times. It's not that I mind so much. Tea without milk is so uncivilized. The Great Escape (sonata960)
2. All you're leaving is two dollars?
   That's fifteen percent.
   That's thirteen percent! Midnight Run (infinitehotel)
3. But the key meeting took place July 3rd, 1958, when the Air Force brought the space visitor to the White House for an interview with President Eisenhower. And Ike said, "hey look, give us your technology, we'll give you all the cow lips you want." Sneakers (infinitehotel)
4. He got $3,000,000 but he didn't get the rose bushes. I got the rose bushes. I definitely got the rose bushes. Those are rose bushes! Rain Man (crouchback)
5. Human moves, kid. You study the watch... while I study you. The Color of Money (infinitehotel)
6. I didn't ask for this role, but I'll play it. Now go do your best. Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid. Goethe said that. It's not too late for you to become a person of substance. Please get my son home safely. You know, I'm glad we spoke. Almost Famous (freecookiesnow)
7. I've seen you at Mass almost every day for 23 years. The only person comes to church that much is the kind who can't forgive himself for something. Million Dollar Baby (creidylad)
8. Look, I'm not allowed to talk to you. You know.
   Yeah, well, I can understand, I'm a pretty dangerous character.
9. Meet me in Montauk. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (badlittlemonkey)
10. Wyoming isn't a country. Dog Day Afternoon (opadit)

Bolding the statements that are true, etc.  I tend to think of my upbringing as extremely privileged, so the ones I did not mark surprised me a little.

I also took the liberty of adding a new question #20.  So there.

1. Father went to college
2. Father finished college
3. Mother went to college
4. Mother finished college
5. Have any relative who is an attorney, physician, or professor
6. Were the same or higher class than your high school teachers
7. Had more than 50 books in your childhood home
8. Had more than 500 books in your childhood home
9. Were read children's books by a parent
10. Had lessons of any kind before you turned 18 (I forgot! I had skiing lessons when I was 13 or so.)
11. Had more than two kinds of lessons before you turned 18
12. The people in the media who dress and talk like me are portrayed positively
13. Had a credit card with your name on it before you turned 18
14. Your parents (or a trust) paid for the majority of your college costs
15. Your parents (or a trust) paid for all of your college costs
16. Went to a private high school
17. Went to summer camp
18. Had a private tutor before you turned 18
19. Family vacations involved staying at hotels
20. Family vacations involved visiting vacation homes your family owned.
21. Your clothing was all bought new before you turned 18 (I'm sure some of it was hand-me-down or bought used, but almost always I got new clothing.)
22. Your parents bought you a car that was not a hand-me-down from them
23. There was original art in your house when you were a child (generally produced by artist friends of the family, but so what?)
24. You and your family lived in a single family house
25. Your parent(s) owned their own house or apartment before you left home
26. You had your own room as a child.
27. You had a phone in your room before you turned 18
28. Participated in an SAT/ACT prep course (I studied a lot out of the Princeton Review book but never took a course)
29. Had your own TV in your room in High School (a tiny little old B&W jobbie that let me catch Letterman and Night Court reruns, but a TV all the same)
30. Owned a mutual fund or IRA in High School or College
31. Flew anywhere on a commercial airline before you turned 16
32. Went on a cruise with your family
33. Went on more than one cruise with your family
34. Your parents took you to museums and art galleries as you grew up.
35. You were unaware of how much heating bills were for your family.

By golly, this meme started going places fast. Just since I left work this evening it's showed up a dozen times on my friends list.