up against the wall motherfuckers

Earlier today, agaran posted a very thoughtful question about the Wall Street bailout bill: if the underlying cause of this crisis can be traced to bad mortgages, then why isn't anyone taking this as an opportunity to straighten out the actual mortgages and provide homeowners with a path to getting back to solvency?

I took a bit of a devil's advocate position: that even though those things should happen, the goal of the current bill is to keep the credit market functioning long enough for the dust to settle, until we know how many banks are left standing and can start to put the pieces back together.  If we are indeed on the brink of catastrophe, it doesn't make sense to hold up the rescue plan with negotiations over long-term fixes, no matter how sensible those fixes may be.  Only after we've achieved short-term stability should we even think about the long term.

I was feeling pretty smart about that answer.  Then I got this from another friend on a mailing list I'm on:

OK, now I support the bailout bill. They are finally meeting my needs.  Check it out.

 From <http://marketplace.publicradio.org/pdf/senatebillAYO08C32_xml.pdf>

Page 300 of the Senate's version of the bailout bill:

SEC. 503. EXEMPTION FROM EXCISE TAX FOR CERTAIN WOODEN ARROWS DESIGNED FOR USE BY CHILDREN.
(a) IN GENERAL.—Paragraph (2) of section 4161(b) is amended by redesignating subparagraph (B) as sub-paragraph (C) and by inserting after subparagraph (A) the following new subparagraph:

(B) EXEMPTION FOR CERTAIN WOODEN ARROW SHAFTS.—Subparagraph (A) shall not apply to any shaft consisting of all natural wood with no laminations or artificial means of enhancing the spine of such shaft (whether sold separately or incorporated as part of a finished or unfinished product) of a type used in the manufacture of any arrow which after its assembly
"(i) measures 5⁄16 of an inch or less in diameter, and
"(ii) is not suitable for use with a bow described in paragraph (1)(A)."

(b) EFFECTIVE DATE.—The amendments made by this section shall apply to shafts first sold after the date of enactment of this Act.

My official opinion on the subject of the bailout is now JESUS FUCK YOU GODDAMN FUCKING MORONS GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES BACK IN YOUR FUCKING CHAIRS AND IF YOU COME OUT OF THERE WITHOUT FIXING EVERY SINGLE FUCKING SUBPRIME MORTGAGE I WILL PERSONALLY COME OVER THERE AND SO HELP ME GOD I WILL SHOVE THE FANNIE MAE FY2008 BUDGET UP YOUR FUCKING ASS

Kooza?

Anyone interested in seeing Kooza with me this month?  I thought I'd missed out on it entirely but was surprised to learn that tickets are still available.