just the three of us

[topaz]

Morgan has just left with his grandparents to spend his midwinter vacation in D.C.  It's not his first trip away from us -- he's traveled with them to Grandparents Camp for two summers now, and to Maine two or three times.  But this one feels somehow different.  keyne pointed out that this time they're taking the train, not going by car all the way.  That's probably part of it.

I think a little bit of it is also that this time we had to coax him a little bit into going.  When the grands first suggested taking him along, a couple of weeks ago, he was all sparkly and shiny about the idea of going on a trip with them.  But after a few days he started saying that he didn't really want to go after all.  No particular reason.  Just don't wanna.  Thanks anyway, dad.

That was a weird place for me to be in, because I really would like to let him make his own decisions about how to spend his vacation time.  But I am absolutely convinced that if he decided to go, he'd come back really glad that he went.  So I want him to make his own decisions, I just, well, I just want him to decide my way.  Is that so wrong?

Anyway, we talked about it all week, in conversations that included comments like, "I don't want to force you to go on this trip.... but man, I almost want to force you."  And we talked a lot about the things to see in D.C., like the Washington Monument and the Wall (which he is particularly interested in for some reason that intrigues me).  Free tours of the FBI!  The Air and Space Museum!

So he agreed to go.  And he's not excited about it exactly, but he's not digging in his heels either.  And I think he'll come back busting with stories.

But it's weird being the dad now who pushes you into taking a boring trip somewhere with your grandparents.  I'm supposed to be the crazy fun dad who does nutty goofball things!  I had better take the kids to Montreal or something in the spring to shore up my self-image.

Comments

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

Montreal Montreal Montreal! That's all I have to say.

Wait, also: Montreal!

I totally get this kind of confusion. In smaller, three-year-old ways, I have similar struggles. I think you just have to hope that the nutty goofball things outweigh the times when you force the 'right' decision. :/

In conclusion: Montreal.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

(Did you know that Montreal has North America's largest INSECTARIUM? It's pretty cool.)

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

Do you realize that I have never been?

[jss]

You should go. Really, it's a cool place. Even without, er, the fringe benefits of seeing Certain People.

I haven't been to Montreal in... Wow. Many many many years. (1983.)

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

...

That doesn't even make SENSE! It's really an amazing, beautiful, and fun city. You don't even need to speak French, though it's really fun to. I know our kids don't really match in age, but if you wanted company you could probably have some in us if the timing worked out. :)

[rsc.livejournal.com]

I had better take the kids to Montreal or something in the spring to shore up my self-image.

And not, of course, because you have any deisre to go to Montreal. Not at all. No way.

(Says someone who, unaccountably, hasn't been to Montreal since 1975. It's time to fix that.)

[catya.livejournal.com]

Were you able to get from M why he was not wanting to go?

Zach came out this morning with (paraphrase) "The thing about taking trips away from you guys is that i'm not sure how i should act" and gave examples like whether is was ok to be really excited about swimming or not.

He's definitely got some nerves about his trip, but he's also really excited.

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

Wait, he's in DC?

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Left this morning. He and R and N will be staying with N's brother in Falls Church.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

He figured he'd be bored and (in the city) overstimulated. :) Both are possible, even likely, but I think not so much that they'll outweigh the positives.

[harimad.livejournal.com]

Or maybe you're just doing what a good parent does. Judgement comes from experience, experience comes from doing things (often done without good judgement), and kids tend to be really conservative.

Too, he already decided to go. What you did was set a good standard that he can't make plans - especially plans that involve others and that others depend upon - and then change them. That would be rude and a bad standard to set.

[dr-memory.livejournal.com]

For what it's worth...

Like any sane human being, I have a small handful of regrets about how I was raised. Part of the territory, I think.

But I have never, ever, not once, thought to myself "you know, I really wish I'd spent less time with my grandparents while they were alive."

Just sayin.

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

I highly recommend going to Montreal sometime between July 1 and July 12 for the Jazz Festival (http://www.montrealjazzfest.com/) It is absolutely amazing!

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

And not, of course, because you have any deisre to go to Montreal. Not at all. No way.

This is what we call "taking one for the team."

[qwrrty.livejournal.com]

And that's a big part of it that I sort of didn't get around to talking about.

I am grateful beyond words that Morgan has such a deep and powerful bond with my parents. He loves spending time with them and loves going on trips with them. And I want to make every minute of that happen to the extent that I can. Yes.

[crouchback.livejournal.com]

Hmm. That's not too far down the road from us. We're car less and I'd imagine they'll be busy, or I'd offer to host all of them for dinner.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Thanks. :) Short visit, one car for everyone in the family, so I don't think they'll be adding stops.

[noeltheone.livejournal.com]

As for Montreal, there's always Worldcon (http://anticipationsf.ca) this summer.