parenthood: it's all worth it

[topaz]

It's a rough gig sometimes.  You can spend so so much time trying to help these kids make their own path, and still you both get frustrated and fed up a lot of the time.  Maybe he's so taken with a new video game that he wants to play it all day long even though it's a beautiful day outside, and you can tell right away this is going to end unhappily no matter what, it's either going to be you setting a time limit and him stomping outside at the end of it in a fit of pique or else he'll only figure out at the end of the day that what he really wanted to be doing all along was playing outside, and now it's too late and he's such an idiot he can't stand it and the tears start coming and then what can you do?

So it's like that a lot.  You want to let them choose their own adventure but you also want to help them not make choices they're likely to regret later, and often it seems like there are no good answers and you find yourself lying awake at night thinking to yourself: what in God's name made you think you were cut out for this line of work?

The funny thing is that many people think the worst part of it all is to have to stay up at night with a sick kid.  I won't lie, it's pretty awful when a young man comes in at 3 a.m. and says five of the most dreaded words in the English language: "I don't feel so good," and you have to get up and speedwalk him to the bathroom before it all comes up on the bedroom rug.  It's even worse when he comes back a half-hour later and says "I'm feeling bad again," and a night when he's retching every fifteen minutes from 3am to 7am is not one that you would wish on your worst enemy.  I would especially not wish it on keyne, who sat with the retching boy last night so I could try to get some sleep.

But, bad as that is, this is why those are not the worst nights: because the next day, after he's finally had some sleep and he wakes up and isn't feeling awful, he comes to you and looks up at you with those big round eyes and says softly, Thanks.  And you say, Thanks? What for?  And he says, Thanks for sitting up with me last night.

Because that's the part that makes you fall all to pieces, and lights the little fire inside that makes you say, I would walk through fire and ice for you, mister.  That's it.  That's the one.  It's all worth it.

Comments

[penk.livejournal.com]

*sniffsmalltear* That was beautiful, Tim. Thank you for sharing. Those moments are golden.

[blk]

Please write more. :)

[coastergalwdw.livejournal.com]

Wow, that's great. Thanks for sharing.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

It is, it is.

[jss]

The only downside is that he had to have the bad night first.

[rintrahroars.livejournal.com]

*wiping tear* That was indeed beautiful. Thank you.

[starphire.livejournal.com]

Yes, well-written and touching. Thanks for sharing.

[pumpkin-pi.livejournal.com]

Wow....

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Fabulous post, dearie. You should write more often. In your copious spare time.

[dervishspin.livejournal.com]

you just made me cry.

[lady-mishegas.livejournal.com]

Now I'm all choked up. Beautifully said. I hope your little guy is feeling better today and you and keyne don't have too, too much throw up to clean up.

[keyne.livejournal.com]

It was the bigger guy, and fortunately he has good aim :-)

[dancingwolfgrrl.livejournal.com]

Wow. Writing well is amazing to start with; writing well about having a kid with the flu is extra-impressive.

I hope the young man in question is feeling much better this morning, and that the rest of you remain well.

[naiad.livejournal.com]

Now I'm all sniffly at work, darn it!

Here's hoping for a speedy recovery and no contagion!

parenthood

[actjack.livejournal.com]

your children are fortunate that their parents really care about them. keyne was denied that as she grew up. also, you are fortunate in that your children recognize your sacrifice at such an early age.

Re: parenthood

[keyne.livejournal.com]

Well, it was clear that some of my parents cared :)